So here I am in the computer lab of Kingwood College trying not to explode with this little anxiety attack I’m having right now. I just dropped my muis literature class and a private piano class. I’m now down to just Jazz Ensemble and Electronic Music I. I’ve royally screwed myself into a massive waste of time. I’m taking 4 credits now. Jazz Ensemble might be fun to take, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get all the performance dates off from work. I was told by my teacher that if I miss even one performance, I’ll fail the entire class. And by the way, it’s only worth one credit. I’m really stressing out over what the heck I should do. I’m tempted to just drop everything and just work, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. My patriarchal blessing tells me about this time in my life that I need to keep educating myself, but as I see it right now, to what end? I have until next January to get 12 credit hours so that I can get back into BYU-Idaho, but I have no way to pay for it later, I’m completely broke right now, and I just don’t have time to be working AND go to school. This sucks. I found some online classes I might be able to take for my marketing degree that don’t start until March that I might just end up taking. Yea I think I better just drop all my classes and start over. Nothing feels right though… No matter what I make up my mind to do, nothing feels like I should actually go through with it. I want to really succeed at work, but that might come at the expense of school (and vice versa).
I also got a note from my mom that this stupid little clinic in Alaska that gave me a band-aid three years ago wants 300 bucks for said band-aid. Mom really tried hard to help but they won’t budge. Now I have to call them and see if they’ll work out a payment plan, although they’ve said that they want payment in full within 30 days. I just checked my bank account and I have about $150 to my miserable little life. All I can hope to do is to just have a little faith that somehow things will work out like they always do… usually.
