Somewhat articulate

Thor Review

I’ll admit that this has been a rather dry year for movies for me.  I haven’t been able to go see too many and the few that I have gone to see, I haven’t been particularly impressed with.  Kenneth Branaugh has never struck me as the type that would EVER direct a superhero action movie.  Many know Kenneth Branaugh as a Shaksperian actor, starring in movies such as modern-day translations of “Love Labor’s Lost”.  For the more mainstream crowd, he’s the one that performed as Gilderoy Lockheart in the Harry Potter movies.  So you can see why my surprise to see him attached to this movie as director would be akin to listening to Mozart’s first death metal album.  Here’s the thing, though.  He does a REALLY good job with it.

I’m not going to say this particular superhero movie is the cream of the crop when it comes to action flicks.  It IS very entertaining though.  Branaugh has done a great job making the characters like Thor become emotional and relatable, while remaining untouchable and God-like.

There are some great actors in this film.  Anthony Hopkins is, in my mind, the REAL Odin now.  Chris Hemsworth IS Thor.  There isn’t much character development, however.  Thor’s sudden transformation from being a prideful and arrogant SOB into a humble and wise superhero lasts literally a scene and he’s changed forever.  It seemed a little unbelievable to me, honestly.  Also, Natalie Portman’s role as the hot scientist chick has been done WAY too many times, and honestly done much better.  She did a fine job, but her character felt more like the submissive Thor groupie than the grounded and strong-willed scientist that Portman claims to have gone for in recent interviews about the film.

The costumes and special effects are top-notch until you see the makeup job for the frost giants, the main antagonists of the film.  Their leader Laufey made me feel sorry for Colm Feore.  His makeup job looks so rigid and uncomfortable that he looks like he’s struggling to breathe the entire movie, and not in the way that you would think “maybe that’s part of the performance.”  Let me tell you, it totally ruined his performance for me.

Speaking of the frost giants, they could have done a much better job setting up the conflict with them.  They go into a 2-minute backstory at the beginning of the movie, but I didn’t really feel like there was much of a reason to hate or love them.  Odin’s conflict with the frost giants literally seemed like people in Arizona trying to keep Mexicans from crossing the border.

Even with all of its petty flaws, this is a movie worth seeing.  Lots of great action moments and special effects, without overdoing it.  By the time you leave the theater, you’ll feel satisfied and even more ready to see the Avengers movie.  It’s going to be one crazy movie with an all-star cast, that’s for sure.

So who should see this?  Take your girlfriend, take your friends, take yourself.  Just don’t bother with 3D, because there are only a few scenes that even seem like it would make sense.

I give it a solid B

To the happy couple

Dear Kate and William-

Nice wedding, but mine was better :)

-Jym

What I Want in the Next Nintendo Console

There are a lot of rumors going around the internet about the successor to the Wii.  I’ll be one of the first to admit that there’s very little I like about the Wii.  Now people like myself can complain all day long about how it’s one of the worst consoles in the history of EVER, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the most financially successful consoles out there.  If you look at the NPD numbers, it’s pretty impressive.  As of December 2010, Nintendo has shipped almost 85 million units.  That’s over 30 million more than the Xbox 360, and roughly twice the amount of PS3 systems.  By anyone’s standards, that’s pretty impressive.  Another impressive note is that since it’s not as graphically advanced as its competitors’ systems, they make a profit off of every system that they sell.  When the PS3 was first shipped, they shipped each unit at a loss of $250 per unit.  They had hoped that software sales would make the system profitable, but they ended up having to cut quite a few costs, and do some pretty magical things to make themselves competitive.

Now it’s 2011 and it’s pretty clear that the Wii has reached the end of its life, for the most part.  Wii systems are not selling like they used to and there are no indications that there’s going to be a rebound in demand for it.  In fact, there’s a rumor that the system may be dropping in price to $150 on May 15 (mental note:  I need to go trade mine in before that).  With the end in sight for the console, it’s not surprising to hear about a successor system that may be coming out in 2012.  According to reports from Game Informer, the system will be more powerful than the Xbox 360 and the PS3.  I don’t believe I’m alone when I say that it’s about time Nintendo comes forward with interesting new technology.  The Wii had its success, no doubt about that.  Unfortunately, however, Nintendo lost a lot of its original consumers who grew up playing Nintendo consoles by appealing to the casual gamer crowd.  Depending on who you ask, some may even say they forgot about their original “hardcore” fan base altogether.  Most people like myself, who grew up playing Nintendo 64 and GameCube, skipped the Wii altogether and went to other systems.  Smash Bros. may be fun, but it’s not enough to keep me coming back to the Wii over and over again.

With a strong possibility of a new console soon, I’ve assembled a few thoughts on what I think the Wii2 needs. 

Third Party Support

Nintendo can’t simply make the games alone.  Nintendo’s first party titles are usually pretty good for their systems, but how many third party games are really worth having on the Wii?  Imagine if Nintendo started licensing out their first party IPs to companies like Epic or Gearbox?  I’m pretty sure if they let Gearbox handle a Metroid game, it would be better than the disaster that “Other M” was.

If the Wii2 is to be successful, they need to really develop and nurture their relationship with third-party developers.  The GameCube had some pretty good titles, but most of the developers were Japanese companies like Capcom.  With Japan declining in their games’ quality, Nintendo needs to do a much better job at catering to American companies.  At the end of the day, you can have a great console that’s got enough power to render life as we know it, but if there aren’t enough good titles for it, especially exclusive titles, there’s no reason to invest in it.

Backwards Compatibility

Nobody wants to have to start their game library over.  I’m not particularly worried that Nintendo will pass on the opportunity for their new console to play Wii games, somehow.  What I am worried about is that there is currently no system in place to transfer content bought on the Wii Marketplace.  Once your Wii is gone, there is no way to transfer your old content.  If they can figure out a way to make a smooth transition over to the new console, they’re going to have a lot of satisfied customers who get to keep the content they already paid for.

Be Innovative, but not Gimmicky

This is a very hard line to follow, especially for Nintendo in recent years.  Nintendo has tried to establish themselves as an innovative company, but they go almost into the realm of being a gimmick.  Motion controllers on the Wii work pretty good, but it’s pretty obvious there isn’t a whole lot more you can do with the remote and nunchuck now.  I remember playing Disney Epic Mickey on the Wii, and the entire time, all I wanted was to plug in my Xbox 360 controller and play with that.  The game it was trying to be just didn’t seem to feel right with a Wii remote. 

Their next system shouldn’t necessarily take a step backward and go to only a standard controller, but they should have a much stronger support for it.  There are a few games on the Wii that have the support for the classic controller, but it does a good job of making sure you realize that it’s second to the remote and nunchuck.

In my opinion, one of the best controllers was for the Sega Dreamcast.  It actually has the exact same layout as the original Xbox controller.  What really made the Dreamcast controller innovative though was the VMU (Virtual Memory Unit).  The VMU was a little memory card with an LCD display that only the player could see.  If you were playing Madden with a friend, you could select the play you were going to use without your buddy seeing what you were up to.  The coolest thing it did, however, was the fact that each VMU was something you could take with you wherever you went and played little mini games on that could be re-uploaded to your Dreamcast and put into the games you were playing.  This kind of support really leads into my next section:

Strong 3DS Support

One thing that the Wii currently does, which I think is pretty cool, is that you can download content for your DS, then upload it to your DS and take it with you.  Now, the feature is there, but there isn’t a lot of emphasis on its ability.  So now I’ll ask, what if they started making a game like a full-fledged, next-gen, console-based Pokemon game that had an awesome online feature, and then had a feature where you could download a portion of the game to your 3DS?  You could take it with you, battle your friends, look for items, level up your Pokemon, and then re-upload it to your Wii2.  If they could find a smooth way to make that happen, and then most importantly support it for the long-haul, it could be a very cool feature, indeed.

Competitive and Strong Online Services

PlayStation’s already got it.  Xbox 360 has definitely already got it.  The Wii kind of has it but I don’t think Ninendo gets it, if you know what I mean.  The Wii has the ability to connect to the internet and connect with friends, but it’s not very well supported.  Most importantly, there’s no social aspect to it.  Nintendo really needs to create a whole separate team to develop a top-notch, fun, and rewarding online service.  It needs to be cross-compatible with their 3DS, as well.  Xbox has gamerscore and PlayStation has their trophies, but what if Nintendo did something where you could earn something comparable to a gamerscore that actually got you something?  For example, the more you play a certain game, you’ll unlock things for your Mii, get you early access to demos, free content, and other cool things they could throw in there for you.  To really compete with the consoles out there, they really have a long way to go in order to establish an online presence.  Without a good online presence, there’s really no draw for some players.

A Mario Game at Launch

The Wii2 needs a Mario game on day one.  It needs to be a really big one, as well.  When Mario 64 came out, it totally changed my whole world.  At that point, I had no idea a videogame could look so good.  The whole experience was magical for me, and to be honest, it still is.  I can still play Mario 64 and have a ball.  It has a timeless quality to it.  There needs to be really big, beautiful, amazing Mario game right at day one.  I want to take my console home, open it, plug it in to my TV and play a new Mario.

A Complete Rebranding

I could go on and on, but this is that last item that I’ll mention.  If Nintendo is serious about recapturing their “hardcore” gamer demographic, they need to realize that if it has the word “Wii” on the box, it’s going to be a hard sell.  They need to drop the whole Wii moniker and put it behind them.  This is a new console, a new generation, and it should definitely be a new direction for Nintendo.

Even with the frustrating disappointment I had with the Wii, I have to say that I’m extremely optimistic with what the next system may offer.  We won’t know a whole lot of anything until E3 this year, but I have a feeling that everyone is going to like what they see.  The Wii is the only system that I haven’t been a fan of in Nintendo’s entire history.  I owned most Nintendo consoles and I don’t think that Nintendo is going to completely abandon the demographic that made them who they are today.  If they come out with something fun and innovative, yet simple, they can recapture an entire lost demographic and build it on top of the casual crowd they already have and become one of the most successful gaming companies of all time.

Ben & Jerry’s Response

Enclosed in the letter were two coupons for free pints of ice cream.  Victory will never taste so sweet.

Mass Effect 3 is going to ruin my marriage

Just got my new Game Informer today.  Shepard was on the cover.  I literally shut out the world, went to my room and just consumed the entire article on the new Mass Effect 3.  It looks so good.  So much fun.  Mass effect has already dominated my life and I guarantee this is not going to be any different.  I’m going to have such a ball this fall.

George Washington: Zombie Hunter

Someone please frame this and give it to me so I can put it on my wall

A letter I wrote to Ben & Jerry’s today

Dear Ben or Jerry (either one will do),

I was actually hoping to get the “thank you” department but all I saw was a complaint box.  I recently purchased a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream in all of its banana-ee goodness.  About 2/3 of it was delicious.  As I sat in front of the TV, crying as I watched Oprah give away a Ford Fusion to a poor immigrant family whose father was dying of cancer he couldn’t treat since they don’t have any insurance, my blissful mouth shoveling came to an unexpected halt.  At the bottom of the container was a total absence of ice cream.  It seemed that an air pocket got in the way of the machine filling up the container to its full pint limit.

 I was actually hoping that either you, Ben or you, Jerry could have a polite watercooler conversation with the poor lever-puller who fills up the pint containers with 2/3 of a pint of actual ice cream.  He might be having a bad day.  He might not have finished his 2 year Associates Degree in lever pulling from the community college, which I hear is pretty mandatory to ensure a safe and accurate pint-filling.  Maybe he comes from a poor immigrant family whose father is dying from cancer that they can’t treat because Ben & Jerry’s (the organization, not you as individuals) doesn’t have very good health benefits.  It might be a nice little chat you can have with him before he punches the clock at the end of the day and drives home in his Ford Fusion.

So if you’re wondering what all this shower of praise is that I was referring to at the beginning of my letter, I really did want to say thank you for the 2/3 pint of ice cream.  Because I only got 2/3 of a pint, I’ve now been able to take a nice afternoon drive back to the Target I bought the ice cream from.  I first tried holding up my empty ice cream container and requesting a refill with a primal grunt.  To keep things honest, I was prepared to eat only 1/3 of the pint and then give it back to them.  When I was told that hygienically unethical to put back a 2/3 pint of ice cream back on the shelf, I went ahead and purchased another pint.  It made me feel good to stimulate this weak and fragile economy another $4 worth.  I’m sure that the severely challenged meth-addicted teenager bagging the groceries at the checkout was grateful that he had something to do with his hands as well.

So I wanted to say thank you Ben and Jerry for a lovely afternoon.  Although I spent a total of $8 in ice cream now, I’ve had a lovely afternoon.  You have given me an excuse to eat a full 1 2/3 pint of ice cream today and you also helped keep a meth-addicted teenager off the streets for an afternoon.  He’ll thank you someday when he’s on Oprah, I’m sure.

Sincerely,

James Pagel – Conroe TX